Saturday, July 14, 2007

Batteries Not Included

Can someone tell me the name of the person who invented batteries so I can personally send a letter to their family (since I know he's long gone by now) about how much I can't stand using them? It's bad enough when your child gets a toy for their birthday and the box mentions in fine print that batteries are not included and the person who purchased the gift failed to include those magical metal ingredients. And so, you're left with a kid who is super excited to try out his 5 foot tall remote control robot but all he can do is stare at it and pretend it works.
Here's the problem - it's not like I have C batteries, and D's and 1.5 volts and triple A's at my disposal. AA's? Sure, I have em - but that's because they're a staple item, like ketchup. But once you get those toys that take 39 batteries to power them up, we're pretty much up a creek without a paddle. While plenty of their double A toys are running smooth as silk and we even change the duracells from time to time, unfortunately, the complicated projects that require more juice usually wind up on a shelf collecting dust. Sure my son is excited for the moment about playing with his super duper action hero that can walk, fly and speak six languages, but let five minutes pass after I've told him we don't have batteries and he'll drop the gadget like a hot tamale and grab his Nintendo or hit the computer.
So the moral of my battery tirade is this - from here on out toymakers - make sure your toys are made with rechargeable batteries that are included in the box along with a charger. That way, your brilliant creation will get more play time with my impatient kindergartener. Not that I want to put the battery folks out of business, but who has time to find batteries, insert them with microscopic screwdrivers and then replace them once they've gone dead. Certainly not me...that's my kids - gotta run before they come at me with a toy that needs a triple C.

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At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm packing for a move across the country, and one chore I didn't count on was taking the batteries out of a zillion toys so they wouldn't start singing in the back of the moving truck. Do you know how hard it is to open some of those panels? I swear I wasted an hour on this. If I ever move again, I'm hiring a 12-year-old kid with one of those eyeglass-fixing kits.


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