The Seat of My Pants

I don't know why, but these last few weeks I've felt as if I've been flying by the seat of my pants at home, at work, on the phone and with friends.  No matter where I turn, I have been doing things last minute and my husband is pretty much losing patience with my antics.  Last weekend, when my daughter had her usual Hebrew school, gymnastics and ice skating class - all in one day, we got sidetracked by a Purim party and the rest of our day got all screwed up.  We raced to get to ice skating - got there too late, missed the lesson and my daughter was thoroughly depressed that she couldn't twirl around to her new recital song - which I had failed to download onto a CD because I couldn't figure out how to work my new Macbook.

While my husband glared at me at the ice rink and demanded we invest in a dayplanner, I agreed that I have been a bit flighty these last few weeks.  I'm busy juggling two businesses at once, attempting to help my daughter with her family tree school project, procrastinating writing a new book proposal and constantly getting sidetracked with new opportunities, setbacks, triumphs and sad moments in my life.

You see, while I've attempted to go for the brass ring and achieve everything I think I want to be when I grow up, some of my closest friends have confronted things I've never imagined we'd have to face before we even turned 40.  Through it all, what I've come to realize is that success on the career front is nothing if you don't have your health.  I won't go into specifics but all I will say is I feel fortunate knowing that when the chips are down, my high school girlfriends have rallied around to make sure our friends who are facing hard times are not alone. While my life may be harried, insane, and pretty much going way too fast, I've come to realize that nothing else really matters except for my family and lifelong friends.  

Am I Right, Am I Wrong?

I received some sad news today.  My uncle Abe, who used to take my brother and I around in his Wise potato chip truck and who was best known for his infamous phrase, "Am I right, am I wrong?" passed away last night after battling a host of illnesses that left his body too weak to fight anymore.

While I'm not broken up about my my uncle's death, I do have to say that it's sad that his final years were spent combatting the effects of several strokes, diabetes and the breakdown of his kidneys.  From what I remember of my uncle, he was always an incredibly opinionated man.  In fact, he pissed off so many people in his time that I remember holidays when you could cut the tension with a knife because Uncle Abe opened his mouth and uttered an insult that left a family member ready to bolt for the door.

I guess my uncle didn't really care that he was making people angry at him when he spoke his mind.  Abe escaped the Holocaust, hiding out with his family as they attempted to escape Poland.  And somehow, they managed to get out.  And so, when he came to the United States, he didn't care who he offended, he was free, he was safe and he was alive.  

Over the next several decades, Uncle Abe made lots of friends with his biting sense of humor and generosity but if you crossed him, well, watch out.  Abe's relentless insensitivity hurt many of my family members - so much so that my parents actually stopped talking to him and my aunt for several years.  

When my mom retired, she eventually mended fences with my aunt and now that Uncle Abe is gone it'll be interesting to see how things will change now that he's not around.  It is sad that at the end of his life he truly was a shell of the person he used to be.  So I choose to remember my Uncle as the spitfire he was. Sure he was a loose cannon, but when I think back on the time I spent with him what I do remember is that he always was good to me.  I guess that's what counts - remember the best in a person once they're gone.  In the end, Abe's famous line, "Am I right, Am I wrong?" is a testament to his life.  Whether he was right or he was wrong, my uncle lived his life on his terms.