L.A. Weight Gain

Week four of my latest diet conquest and I'm still hungry and have lost a total of three pounds. They told me I'd reach my goal within eight weeks and they're obviously certifiably insane. I'm following it as best I can, going hungry for most of the day and despising the gallons of water I'm drinking every other minute. And then, when I go for my weekly weigh-ins, the nutrition counselor is surprised that I haven't lost an ounce. I'm a serial dieter...which means my body is so used to my yo-yo nutrition plan that it feels like it's in combat. Cut my calorie intake in half, and look, nothing happens. Constipated...think a few fiber chews or fish oil pills will get the system going, well think again. Don't mess with the serial dieter. I'm sticking with the extra 10 pounds I've got stuck on my thighs and no one will shake them loose. Will I ever be thin again? Probably not, but I'm not giving up...at least not this week...I've got two days to go before I step on the scale - I better go drink a gallon of water so I can finally lose more than a half a pound.