rolemommyconfessions

Saturday, November 25, 2006

NOBODY HOME...

I have never felt so horrible in all of my life. As if I didn’t have enough to feel guilty about…kids, work, husband, …you can now add friends to that list.
So, in an effort to see my friends, to carve out more time with them and make sure they know that even though I don’t see them very often, they are so dear to me, I decided to throw a party. I called all of my friends, the old ones, new ones, long lost ones and even a few acquaintances who I always wanted to elevate to friend status but never found the time to cultivate the relationship. I called them all.
Come..eat, drink, be merry, make friends with my friends, spend time together…know how much your friendship means to me. Sounds great, right? Well it was great – everyone RSVP’d, everyone was coming and everyone was psyched about seeing each other. And then, it happened. My husband was called out of town on business and I had to cancel our big friend fiesta. I went down the list, called everyone I needed to, or so I thought. I missed one. I forgot to call a very lovely old childhood friend who I never ever see anymore.
So, the day arrives, now since I’m no longer hosting a party, I high tail out of town and take my children to visit another old friend that we never see. I arrived back home that night, walked in the door, checked my answering machine and instantly felt the blood drain from my face. Oops – oh shit. Seems my forgotten friend packed up her husband and two children and drove 30 minutes expecting a party but found a locked up empty house instead.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

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So grab a latte, enjoy the quiet and dive in.
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Saturday, November 11, 2006

Why Bother

After enduring a pretty hectic week where I wound up having an experience that I'd pretty much like to completely forget, I received some words of wisdom from none other than "Sponge Bob." Since my kids watch it every morning as I get ready to work - I also listen to the show with half an ear because I always find that Sponge Bob has a great zinger that's sure to put a smile on my face. Well, today he totally made my morning. I was busy re-living the events of the previous day in my head and was totally in a bad mood when Sponge Bob turned to his friend and said "Patrick, why don't we just call ourselves Why and Bother?" Exactly what I was thinking! Nothing like a kids cartoon to give you a little perspective on life.

Friday, November 03, 2006

The Grapes of Wrath

Cynthia is busy shopping at Costco with her two-year-old son and he's on the verge of a meltdown. As she wanders into the produce section, Cynthia spots an oversized bag of grapes and plops them into her cart. When she was a new mother, Cynthia would have hand washed the grapes in a colander and sprayed some fruit cleanser on them, but today at the monster supermarket, it's all about speed and efficiency - and keeping a kid from going ballistic. So, she grabs a grape and hands it to her toddler who of course, drops it on the floor that thousands of people have walked on in the past year. Her son's eyes start to well up and he's about to blow like a tea kettle, so what does Cynthia do? Use the five second rule of course. Pick the grape off the floor, pop it in her mouth to clean it off and gives it back to her son. Luckily, no one was looking so Cynthia thinks she's in the clear. That is, until her son drops a second grape on the floor and when she attempts to use the same procedure on the wayward grape, a female customer catches her in the act and gives her a look of disgust at what she's just witnessed. While racing out of the aisle to head on to the paper goods, Cynthia looks back at the woman and calls out, "Look lady, if giving my kid a dirty grape is the only way I'm going to get through Costco, then that's the way it has to be." Long live the five second rule!!!

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